Saturday, April 20, 2013

There are vampires out there...

Not literally (seriously doubt it, sorry Twilight fans!) but definitely figuratively. These are the people who will suck the positive energy out of you like a vampire would suck its prey's blood. 

Interestingly, in spite of all the blood chugging, vampires are still always pale. The same applies to energy suckers; you can spot the type from a mile. They look gloomy, down and out and just plain miserable - just visualizing that in my head was a downer, imagine how much it sucks to have those energy suckers around!

Recognizing energy suckers:

- It's the person after talking to whom you feel bad about yourself, or guilty or, of course, drained of all positive and productive energy.
- These are the people who will always think that their lives are worse than everyone else's, doesn't matter how good they have it. 
- They always feel entitled for more.
- They always feel unlucky and underserved. 
- They find faults in your success.
- They underplay your achievements.
- They are jealous of you and WILL kick you when you are down.

I don't think you will confuse them with good people going through a bad time but remind yourself of that distinction. These individuals are different from those who are generally happy but maybe sad or upset for some reason for a while- in that case your shoulder should be the first one for their tears. 

The keys to be sucker-free!

- You can only help those who want to help themselves. Understand that sometimes there isn't much you can do for someone who is mentally set on being unhappy. They may not even know it, but if you notice it, help them recognize that. If you see progress, help them further. If you see regression and feel yourself sinking with them, jump ship! 

Having said that, don't be too quick. Of course, how much time you can give to a "sucker" will depend on your relationship with the person and your own levels of patience and endurance. Give people a chance. But know your limits. There are other people in your life who rely on your positive energy, so make sure you have some left for them.

- If you can't exclude "suckers" from your daily life, learn to create a mental shield- don't let them latch on! Don't indulge the "sucker" by listening to their saga of (self-created) misery. Offer regrets and move on, something like, "Oh I'm sorry to hear that, I'm sure things will look up soon but I better finish my project/assignment/cooking," might help.

It first you may feel like a horrible person, which you will because you are not a "sucker" and you don't like to bring people down. Remind yourself that this is not how you deal with people normally- this is how you deal with the ones who are determined on being miserable.

Now let's drink and be merry! To honor our "suckers" I thought I'd share a Bloody Mary recipe ;) Just subtract the vodka for a virgin version. Click here for the recipe, courtesy of

Have you dealt with a "sucker" successfully? If so, please share your strategy :)

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